I don't like it, the end.

I could just write that, dropped the mic, turn on my heels and walk away. Instead, I will do my best to clarify my opinion and make it (at least approximately) relevant. Good luck to me!

I first started dry brushing a couple of months ago. I think it was during the winter when you just don't know what to do with yourself. With excess free time on my hands and nasty weather outside, I spent a lot of time reading Goop and all of a sudden, my skin seemed to be in need of detoxification. All women are subject to these things. Admit it.

The preparation for the adventure began with a careful and thorough study of the terrain. I went to the internet. Firstly to Slovenian one, because reading those usually terrible articles of is sometimes a lot of fun. "Dry brushing for complete detoxification and beautiful skin" said one headline. "Know the dry skin brushing of the body and its amazing effects" said another. And so on. I quickly flew through these headlines and went looking for answers abroad. Not literally, of course. I'm not that rich (except for the richness of my soul). Foreign titles were far more promising at first glance. There, journalists, like myself, were concerned with the importance of dry brushing for human life. After a thorough review of the articles and research, I embarked on the mission of finding a suitable brush that will allow me to enter this elite dry brush club. To buy a beginner brush (something that doesn't cost a fortune) I went straight to Müller. With their huge selection, it seemed like the most viable option. Ten minutes and nine euros later, I left the store with a brush in my hand and a smile on my face. My miracle tool, though not handmade in the Peruvian mountains, will have to suffice. Sorry Gwyneth (Paltrow).

For invigorating purposes, it is best to brush your body before taking a shower in the morning. But because I like to live on the edge, I did it at night. I started at the ankles and continued upwards with short strokes towards the middle of the body. It took me about 5-10 minutes to brush, which is an eternity for me. Let me explain that, unlike bath soaking, showering is not a pleasure for me. I like to be fast and efficient. I wet myself, shave and go. The whole shower process usually takes me about five minutes. If I shave my legs a little more. So, brushing my body prolongs my shower routine times one. I don't like that.

Another annoyance of dry brushing, however, is the very feeling of rough bristles on my delicate skin. Some describe it as "invigorating," while I would best describe it as "barely surviving." I was as gentle as possible, but still I could not get rid of the feeling of scratching my skin to the bone. Okay, I'm exaggerating. It wasn't exactly pleasant to me. But hey, I understand that for some, this feeling is very pleasant. Not to me though.

The brush is currently lying on the washing machine. All lonely and sad finds its way into my hands only when I lose it with self-tanner. This is when it stands by my side and helps to remove my Jersey Shore complexion. Although, I still prefer those exfoliating gloves that I can use in the shower. Or Lush's Rub Rub Rub, which by the way smells sooo good.